• Increased productivity by 200% through a series of inspirational speeches and a rigorous work schedule.

• Managed to get the entire team to work weekends by bribing them with pizza and beer.

• Instituted a 'no breaks' policy that led to a 50% increase in productivity.

• Created a 'fear of failure' environment that motivated employees to work harder.

• Personally fired anyone who didn't meet my high standards.

• Worked 26 hour days, 7 days a week to set an example for my team.